Summary for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode
Take Me Out to the Holosuite

Season 7, Episode 4

Guest Stars:
Max Grodenchik as "Rom"
Aron Eisenberg as "Nog"
Gregory Wagrowski as "Captain Solok"
Chase Masterson as "Leeta"
Penny Johnson as "Kasidy Yates"

Written by: Ronald D. Moore

Events:
The episode opens with Captain Solok of the USS T'Cumbra meeting with Ben in the Captain's office. Solok discusses repairs that his ship needs, as it has been at the front of the war for several weeks and he has earned himself a second Christopher Pike Medal for courageous conduct.

It is quickly obvious that neither Ben nor Solok have much of an appreciation for one another. They have apparently managed to avoid contact for over ten years. Solok gives the impression he has very little respect for human efficiency.

After they have finished discussing ship repairs Solok mentions he has a new holosuite program which might interest Ben.

The scene cuts to the Operations deck, where Ben instructs Kira to assemble the senior staff. The scene cuts to a ward room where Miles, Julian, Ezri, Kira, Worf, and Nog sit at a table. Ben walks in and informs them he has accepted a challenge from Solok to play a game of baseball against Solok's all-Vulcan team, the Logicians.

Best lines from the scene:
Ben: "Which is why when their captain challenged us to a contest of courage, teamwork, and sacrifice I accepted on your behalf."
Worf: "We will destroy them."
Ben: "I was hoping for that reaction."

The scene cuts to opening credits and commercials.

When the episode resumes we are in Operations where Kira, Nog, and Worf are reviewing the rules of baseball on PADDs. They are obviously very confused by terminology as Worf must look up the meaning of the word "fly" as in "fly ball".

Meanwhile at Quark's Julian is showing his superior knowledge of the game by explaining it to Miles while Ezri reviews a PADD on the subject. Ezri is quizzing them on the terminology.

Just as we are about to find out what a "fancy dan" is, Leeta and Rom appear, asking to be included in the game. Quark, overhearing this, advises Rom not to bother as he expects Rom to make a fool of himself. When taunted by Leeta, who shortly leaves with Rom, Quark asks when the try outs are.

Best line from the scene:
I'd really like to quote several, so many that half the scene would be in here.

The scene cuts to the holosuite program. The team is on the field waiting for their first practice and Ben provides them with a pep talk. He then divides the team so they can get some practice throwing and catching the ball. Only Worf, Julian, Miles and Nog show any ability to handle a glove and ball.

Jake comments that it's going to be a long two weeks and Ben lets us know he doesn't care how long or hard it is because he isn't going to lose to Solok.

The show cuts to commercials.

When it resumes we find Ben and Odo in the Constable's office. Ben persuades Odo to umpire the game, providing him with a PADD to learn the game in less than two weeks.

The scene cuts to the Infirmary where Quark has had the bones in the back of his head re-knitted thanks to Rom's careless swing of a baseball bat. Ezri is complaining that she can't do what Emenee once did and is still having trouble adjusting her memories to her reality.

Miles is out of the game thanks to some torn shoulder ligaments. And apparently one of Worf's bones need re-alignment (thanks to another unfortunate accident involving Rom).

But Ben is undaunted. He assigns Miles to coaching duties (despite the fact Miles can't remember which base is first) and calls for another practice early the next morning.

Outside Infirmary Jake makes some suggestions about changing the line-up but Ben thinks of someone else.

The scene cuts and we see Ben standing in front of a docking bay with a bouquet of flowers. In walks Kasidy Yates whom he warmly greets with romantic words and flowers. It seems her next three shipments have been re-assigned (thanks to Ben ;-) and she's going to be around for awhile. When discussing what they can do with that time Ben asks her about her "throwing arm" ;-)).

The scene cuts to the holosuite where Kasidy, Worf, and Nog are throwing the ball about proficiently. Ben takes the ball and bats one to the outfield. Rom calls it and the ball lands a dozen metres behind him. This is the tenth ball he's missed today. Rom throws the ball to the infield, but it falls short. So he runs to it and throws again. It falls short, again. He runs up and throws it again. You get the picture ;-)).

Ben calls for batting practice. While preparing they notice Solok is scouting them. Once again Ben lets us know he really wants to teach Solok A "painful lesson in humility".

Rom is first to bat. He fails miserably, managing to miss on his third try against an underhanded floater while also managing to let go of the bat (which sails over Jake's head).

For this Ben takes him off the team. Needless to say this isn't good for morale.

Best lines from the scene:
Rom: "You mean I can't play?"
Ben: "That's the smartest thing you've said all week."

The scene cuts to commercials.

When the show resumes we find ourselves in Quark's where the entire team (but not Worf) have decided to quit unless Ben re-instates Rom. Rom explains that he knows he isn't any good at the game, and that he wants to watch "our" team beat the Vulcans even if he is only a spectator. He manages to convince them all to continue with the game.

The scene cuts to the Promenade for the best lines of this segment of the show:
Julian: "What are you eating?"
Miles: "I'm not eating I'm chewing."
Julian: "Chewing what?"
Miles: "Gum. It's traditional. I had the replicator create me some."
Julian: "They just chewed it."
Miles: "No. They infused the gum with flavour."
Julian: "What did you infuse it with?"
Miles: "Scotch."

ROFL !!!

We go through a series of short vignettes showing the progress of the team: Ben is going over strategy with the team, Kasidy is helping Julian with his batting stance, Quark is having his Ferengi assistants throw mugs at him from the upper deck while Quark catches them with a glove, and Julian and Ezri get their signals crossed in the outfield and let a ball drop between them. Jake's elbow is examined by Julian. Kira walks by the Odo's office to see the back of Odo practicing his "Safe" and "Out" calls.

We come to Ben's quarters where Kasidy is helping Ben to unwind some muscles. She finally convinces Ben to tell us the "Solok Story".

It seems he and Solok were in the same class at the Academy. Ben was out at a local pub enjoying some times with his friends. Solok and some Vulcan cadets came in to do some research on illogical human bonding rituals. He and Ben got into a discussion on the subject of whether Vulcans were superior to humans and other "emotionally handicapped" species. Finally, drunk and proud, Ben challenged Solok to a wrestling match. Ben ended up in the Infirmary with a few cracked ribs etc for underestimating Vulcan strength (three times that of a human) and speed.

Afterwards Solok took every opportunity to point Ben out, writing five psychology papers analyzing the match and twelve more papers after the Academy, each one starting with the analysis of the wrestling match.

Kasidy tries to persuade him to tell the "Niners" (DS9's team) but he refuses and convinces Kasidy to say she won't tell either.

The scene cuts to Kasidy telling the team why this game is important to Ben ;-)

They agree they need to win this one for the gipper...er...captain ;-)

The scene cuts to commercials.

When the show returns we find ourselves in the holosuite listening to the Federation's anthem (quite lovely, actually).

The stands are packed and Odo steps up and brushes home plate.

On agreement between Solok and Ben the spectators are eliminated, leaving Rom sitting alone.

The game progresses and on a full count Worf is struck out by a dubious pitch. He begins arguing with Odo, followed by Ben arguing with Odo. When Ben touches Odo's chest Odo throws him out of the game.

A quick look over his shoulder shows Solok impassively watching this display of human emotionalism.

Best line of the scene:
Niners: "Hey batter batter batter batter..."
Worf: "Death to the opposition."

The show cuts to commercials.

When it resumes we find Miles is in charge of the team and a very disgruntled Ben in the stands. A Vulcan hit to centre field is caught by a 'fancy dan' move by Ezri.

In the ninth we find ourselves with the following stats:

Logicians: 10 runs, 13 hits, no errors.
Niners: no runs, 5 hits, and 4 errors.

The Logicians have two outs. The batter hits and makes it to third. The runner comes to home but doesn't step on the plate. After some confusion Nog realizes the Vulcan's error and through the help of Jake manages to get the player out.

Ben is so pleased he calls on Rom. Sending Rom in as a substitute for Jake, and calling up the holosuite audience, he sends Rom to the plate. Rom's first two swings are strikes. The third swing is called in from the bullpen, which Rom doesn't understand, but his bat is in the right place for the pitch and he has a bunt. Nog manages to make it home while Rom gets to first base. The Niners are wild with excitement, storming the field and lifting Rom up in celebration. Solok comes over to discuss the situation with Odo, pointing out the game isn't over. Odo starts to turn his back on Solok who grips him by the shoulder to spin him around. Odo looks around, and with a very pleased look on his face throws Solok out of the game.

The scene cuts to Quark's, where everyone is jubilant despite the fact they lost the game. As Ben points out, losing a game against the Vulcans isn't entirely unexpected. Ben then walks to Rom and offers Rom his apologies and asks for some advice on bunting, which makes Rom feel pleased to no end.

Solok comes in to taunt Ben about his loss, but is himself taunted by not only Ben but the rest of the team as well. He leaves in disgust while Ben is presented with a new baseball, one signed by the Niners.

End of episode.

Personal reflections:
No earth-shaking events here. No Cardassian/Dominion plots. No Founder surprises. Just plain old fun.

Baseball, America's pastime and Ben's favourite game, played out against the toughest team the Federation can put together: the Vulcan Logicians.

And the challengers, three Ferengi, a Klingon, a Trill, two Bajorans, a genetically engineered human, Kasidy Yates and Ben's son, Jake. Coached by Ben 'I'm the Emissary' Sisko and scotch-chewing Miles 'Where's first base' O'Brian.

This is an hilarious episode destined to be one of the higher points of Trek humour. There are a lot of sight gags and too many good lines to list them all.

I heartily recommend this episode to all who need a little humour in their Trek.

Thanks for your attention.



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